Why we’re so obsessed with ‘Friends’ — the comfort food of television
A rumor that the TV show ‘Friends’ was leaving Netflix almost broke the Internet this week. Why do we love this show so much?
Netflix subscribers were thrown for a loop on Monday, when a rumor that the NBC hit ‘90s sitcom “Friends” would be leaving the streaming service swept the internet.
Friends is leaving @netflix on January 1st. Just cancel the whole year. 2019 is gonna be trash.Evidently, fans had looked at the details page of “Friends” on Netflix and noted that the content was listed as available only through Jan. 1, 2019. They then inferred that this meant “Friends” was being axed from Netflix, where it’s been available for nearly four years.
Netflix responded to the hysteria with a tweet declaring that in fact, no, “Friends” was not going anywhere.
The tweet was liked over 188,000 times and retweeted nearly 75,000 times, indicating massive rejoice.
‘Friends’ has a universal appeal like no other show
I personally don’t really care for “Friends”, which makes me something of a social pariah among my peers (I’m 35, and almost all my friends are fans of the show). I’ve seen countless episodes (they’re rather impossible to avoid), yet I just don’t feel a connection with it and I find everyone very annoying.
Given that my feelings about this show are lukewarm at best, I was able to view, with an outsider’s fascination, the upset the Netflix rumor prompted in so many people. I found myself asking, “What is it about this show that gives it such a universal appeal and is so relatable for many?”
I took my questions to clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Carla Marie Manly as well as to writer Kelsey Miller, author of the book “I’ll Be There For You: The One About Friends,” to gain some insight into this phenomenon.
Courtney Cox Arquette as Monica, Lisa Kudrow as Pheobe, Jennifer Aniston as Rachel, David Schwimmer as Ross in the pilot episode of Friends.Warner Bros. Television Production Inc.
We relate to the characters’ neuroses — and can use them to understand our own
Manly, though not much a fan of “Friends” knows it very, very well. She’s essentially studied it because clients bring it up so often in sessions.
“My 30-something-year-old clients often bring up ‘Friends,’” says Manly. “I have one client who identifies deeply with Chandler, so I’ve had to investigate Chandler, as this client is very guarded and doesn’t like to talk about much. I know about Chandler’s third nipple and his effeminate attitude and sarcasm. In a sense, this client is talking about their own issues by talking about Chandler’s.”
Yes, a therapist is essentially psychoanalyzing a TV character to better understand her patient. I find this astonishingly brilliant (and bizarre), but Manly suggests this isn’t so out of the ordinary, noting that she’ll often ask clients who may be guarding trauma or other issues who their favorite superhero was as a child.
“Friends” may not feature superheroes, but it does showcase what you might call super-neurotics — and it does so in safe, jovial way. “Friends” revels in an environment where nothing “crazy” is really that crazy, and where no quirk or personality flaw, no matter how extreme, can ever disconnect you from the love and support of your best pals.
“When people feel like they can see themselves in another person, they feel that they are not alone — they’re not ‘too’ eccentric,” Manly says. “Take Joey. He’s one that some of my male clients identify with because he’s very awkward and goofy. Or Phoebe — some look at her and see their own eccentricities or their family’s. They identify with it and when they do, they’re not isolated anymore. [Additionally] a lot of people live alone and don’t have a lot of friends. Watching ‘Friends’ is way of vicariously experiencing friendship.”
