‘How I Met Your Mother’ Gave Us the Worst Love Triangle in History

Out of the many tropes used within the romance genre, the most disliked is probably the love triangle. It’s generally considered a tired trope that’s mostly associated with stories directed at young adults. In reality, though, love triangles date back to Shakespearean times, and over the years there have been many exceptional shows and movies that make use of the trope to tell us something insightful about people and romance. But it’s perilously easy for the love triangle trope to fall into clichés and mediocrity. It’s worsened by the fact that most TV shows with romantic prospects seem to feel obligated to introduce an unwarranted love triangle arc just for the sake of forwarding the plot. And this is what happened with How I Met Your Mother season 3 onwards when the show started hinting at a triangle shaping up around Ted (Josh Radnor), Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), and Robin (Cobie Smulders). Though the show tried really hard to sell it, spanning the arc across multiple season, it never felt quite right.

Ted and Robin Never Get Over Each Other in ‘How I Met Your Mother’

The fact is that Ted loved Robin, and he never got over her. He just found different chambers in his heart to store his love for Robin – be it as a crush, a lover or a friend. At the same time, there was a part of Robin that knew Ted was the perfect guy for her. In one instance, she even says, “if I was going to have someone’s babies, I’d have your babies.” Robin and Ted decided to end their relationships because they wanted different things out of life, but that doesn’t mean they stopped loving each other, the controversial ending suggests as much. No matter their stance on the ending though, everyone would agree Robin and Ted shared a sweet and special dynamic. So, when the show decided to add Barney to the mix that didn’t really call for a third person, the dynamic felt jarring and uncomfortable with each new progression of the arc.

When Barney, Ted’s self-proclaimed best-friend, first sleeps with Robin, it sours their friendship. And for a couple episodes, they stop being bros only to rekindle their friendship very soon. But that’s almost all that the show does with Ted and Barney. After Barney and Robin start dating, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to expect some kind of awkwardness to stem out of the situation. But the show never even considers the idea. Barney constantly talks about his sexual affairs with Robin in the most ribald manner. And while it certainly makes the viewer feel uncomfortable, Ted just seems to roll with it.

But then, right around the time when Barney and Robin are about to get married, it starts to feel like Ted is still holding out for her. This complicated mesh of love triangle between Ted, Robin and Barney is best symbolized by Robin’s locket. A while back, Robin had buried a locket, a family heirloom, for safekeeping which was supposed to be a “something old” at her wedding. But when she went back to look for it, she couldn’t find it. And this devastated her, causing her to doubt the decision of marrying Barney. When Robin was doubting her decision to marry Barney, it wasn’t her groom-to-be, but Ted who dropped in to support her. Ted saw how important the locket was to Robin, and he went ridiculous lengths to trace it. Though he later gave the locket to Barney, telling him it would look better coming from him, Robin knew it was Ted who found it. And in a moment of panic minutes before the wedding, Robin even suggested she and Ted run away together. Ted firmly declines and Robin calms down and decides to marry Barney after he promises to always be honest with her. Still, it’s never a good sign when the bride wants to run away with the best man moments before the wedding.

Barney and Robin Were Never Meant To Be Together

In many ways, Barney and Robin are very similar to each other. They both share a similarly unconventional view of relationships which greatly differs from that of a hopeless romantic like Ted. While Ted is constantly looking for the one true love as the purpose of his life, Robin and Barney find their existential fulfillment elsewhere. Robin is a career-driven woman who wants to excel in her professional life as a journalist, traveling to Tokyo, Paris and Argentina. She doesn’t want to think about settling down in a relationship and having kids. Similarly, Barney isn’t your typical Romeo either. He gets a kick out of chasing women and engaging in a series of meaningless sexual affairs. And though there are times when he doubts his current state of life, it’s clear that he couldn’t be happy in relationships. Some people are just happier single.

But since the show itself is a romantic one at heart, it doesn’t leave out many options for Barney and Robin to approach their relationship. It’s either a relationship that leads to marriage or a relationship that would inevitably fail. But these shouldn’t have been the only choices available in the first place since neither of them apply to characters like Robin and Barney who orbit outside the traditional idea of love that’s personified by Ted. Perhaps they would be happier in a non-monogamous relationship or as friends with benefits. But the show is so tied to Ted’s idea of love and relationship that it never gives them any such options.

Barney And Robin’s Relationship Feels Forced

Despite these obvious red flags, the show forces them together just for the sake of plot. Barney’s infatuation with Robin comes out of nowhere, years after they’ve known each other. They get together for season 5, but soon learn that they’re not good for each other, that they’re too similar for their own good and decide to call it quits on a healthy note. Now, this would have been a brief but a satisfactory end to their romantic arc, both the characters coming out of the relationship having learned something valuable about themselves. Except that’s not where it ends.

Moving forward, the show stretches their romantic angle to a point of exhaustion, with Barney desperately trying every trick in his book to get back together with Robin, and in the process betraying the very quirks and traits that made him unique in the first place. The arc also takes away from Robin’s characterization who had her own distinct take on love, and forces her to align with Ted’s idea of it. It’s true that Barney and Robin have a certain spark to their chemistry, but it’s at its best during their will-they-won’t-they stage. And when the two finally end up together, they feel like a watered down version of themselves. Barney and Robin are “awesome” characters, and in their own words, “two awesomes cancel each other out.”